In the premiere of Agatha All Along, we were reintroduced to Agatha Harkness (Kathryn Hahn) and introduced to fellow witch Rio Vidal (Aubrey Plaza). And I’ll tell you what: it’s been two episodes now, and if Agatha and Rio don’t kiss soon, I will literally set my TV on fire.
Okay, maybe not literally. But I might take a hammer to my TV, or toss it out the window, or throw a total temper tantrum while mailing various threatening letters to “Kevin Feige c/o Marvel Studios” with phrases like “you will rue the day you were born.” Because even with only two, 40-ish minute-long episodes, I will literally die if I don’t see Agatha and Rio kiss.
Fine, fine, not literally die. Maybe emotionally die. Even in their few scenes together, Aubrey Plaza and Kathryn Hahn’s chemistry is off the charts. And the show seems specifically designed to be pushing them as the main, romantic pairing of the series. At the very least it’s clear there’s a deep history between the two, as Rio showed up in Westview pretty much as soon as Wanda Maximoff’s (Elizabeth Olsen) spell trapping Agatha started to break. Rio was the one who ultimately freed Agatha from that spell, telling her to “claw your way out.” And she was there after Agatha was freed, giving us an IRL version of the “I don’t know if I want to kiss or kill you,” meme. And since Rio doesn’t kill her, it’s pretty clear she wants to kiss her.
I mean come on, take a look at this highly unnecessary hand-lick Rio does to heal Agatha’s cut palm. Would a person who doesn’t want to kiss another person do that? I don’t think so.
There’s also what Rio says right before this hand lick, and I do understand if you’ve stopped reading by this point, mesmerized by the GIF above. But when Agatha tells Rio she has no heart, Rio leans in and says, “Yes, I do. It’s black. And it beats for you.” Fans have taken to speculating that means Rio is secretly the Marvel Comics character known as Blackheart. And sure, maybe. But Easter eggs and mysteries aside, she’s literally saying her heart beats for Agatha. Whatever reasons Rio has for wanting to kill her, she loves her, as well. She is obsessed with Agatha, and though Agatha is holding back out of fear of, you know, dying, it’s clear from the way Hahn plays their scenes that she feels the same.
It’s also clear this is what the fans want. Not the most scientific indicator, but as of this writing, mere days after the episodes dropped on Disney+, there are 39 different fanfics involving Agatha Harkness and Rio Vidal on Archive of Our Own. Side-note: content warning there, some of them are, uh, pretty extreme. But it definitely shows that fans are very into Agatha and Rio. Granted, some of those 39 pre-date the airing of the show, but the pace of fics has definitely picked up since the episodes dropped.
Look, I understand that Marvel is a famously sexless franchise. But we’ve already had some very funny butt nudity from Kathryn Hahn that made MCU history. Why not keep things going with a sure-to-be emotionally fraught same-sex kiss? It may not be the first (that was Eternals), but it’s certain to be the best. Heck, while on the red carpet for the series, Plaza teased the show “will be a gay explosion by the end of it.” How about episode three? That’s before the end of it, right?
So what do you say, Marvel? Will you stop me from doing something potentially disastrous with my TV, and let Rio and Agatha kiss already? And if Rio and Agatha don’t kiss in Episode 3, I will literally keep watching the show to find out if they do. I think I used “literally” correctly that time.
Agatha All Along Premiere Dates And Episode Guide:
The first two episodes of Agatha All Along premiered September 18 at 6 pm PT / 9 pm ET on Disney+. It will stream weekly episodes after that, leading up to the two-episode finale on October 30. There are nine episodes, in total.
Here’s the full list of episodes in Agatha All Along, with premiere dates:
- Wednesday, September 18, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 1: “Seekest Thou The Road”
- Wednesday, September 18, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 2: “Circle Sewn With Fate Unlock They Hidden Gate”
- Wednesday, September 25, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 3
- Wednesday, October 2, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 4
- Wednesday, October 9, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 5
- Wednesday, October 16, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 6
- Wednesday, October 23, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 7
- Wednesday, October 30, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 8
- Wednesday, October 30, 2024: Agatha All Along, Episode 9
