No.
Wait, No What? What Are You Saying? Huh?
Sigh. I really didn’t want to do this. I wanted to publish an article that was one word long: no. But Google punishes you for that, so I’m going to have to pretend I’m having a conversation with a total idiot in order to make this article longer, so the world’s largest search engine doesn’t obliterate me and everything I publish from now on, just because I thought it would be funny to put up a one-word article.
I’m saying: no, Taylor Swift isn’t in Deadpool & Wolverine.
Oh, Gotcha. Wink, Wink, Right? She’s Not Not In It, Wink, Wink?
No, she seriously is not in the movie. It was reported by EW back on July 2 that, despite rumors Taylor Swift would be playing either the mutant Dazzler or Deadpool variant Lady Deadpool in the movie, she was not actually in the movie.
Naturally, that led to people online saying, “Yeah right, that’s just what a Taylor Swift is not in the movie would say.” And that’s because actors have been blatantly lying about their participation in projects! Look no further than Dafne Keen, who said she wasn’t in Deadpool & Wolverine. Spoiler: she’s in Deadpool & Wolverine!
Then on July 22, Ryan Reynolds definitively shut down the rumor to E! News, again emphasizing that Taylor Swift is not in the film.
And now here I am, also saying: Taylor Swift is not in the film! That should settle it.
Is Taylor Swift Dazzler In Deadpool & Wolverine?
No, Taylor Swift is not playing Dazzler in Deadpool & Wolverine.
Is Taylor Swift Lady Deadpool In Deadpool & Wolverine?
No, Taylor Swift is not playing Lady Deadpool in Deadpool & Wolverine.
So Who Is Taylor Swift In Deadpool & Wolverine?
Nobody! She’s nobody! Taylor Swift is not in the movie! I have seen the movie, and Taylor Swift does not appear in Deadpool & Wolverine! She is not featured as a cameo, you don’t hear her voice, there’s not even a reference or musical cue in the movie involving Taylor Swift! TAYLOR SWIFT IS NOT IN DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE!!!
Wow, Spoilers Much?
That is– That’s–
That’s not a spoiler, to say someone isn’t in a movie! Kamala Harris also isn’t in the movie! I’m not in the movie! You, most likely, are not in the movie! None of that is spoilers! And most importantly, Taylor Swift is not in the movie!
Okay, Thanks, Buddy! Was That Enough Words To Satisfy Google?
I sure hope so, otherwise it’s going to be a Cruel Summer.
Wait A Second!!! That’s The Name Of A Taylor Swift Son–
Just kidding.
Deadpool & Wolverine, which does not feature Taylor Swift in any way, hits theaters on July 26, 2024.
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